I can not help but find myself feeling overwhelmed with gratitude this time of year. Grateful for every day that my children and I have been gifted with Rick. This week will be the 2 year anniversary since the boys & I witnessed Richard get hit by a truck and watched as he was life-lighted to Heartland Hospital in Saint Joseph. I remember every second of that morning. I remember every feeling of that day. I remember holding him and trying to get him to be still as he lay smashed, broken and bleeding. As he was screaming & crying in pain- begging God for his life. I remember the fear and the helplessness and the pain of watching him suffer. I remember the relief felt as my fathers truck came into view... the comfort I felt just seeing his face and knowing that he was there. I remember the complete and overwhelming fear of the unknown- would my husband still be alive when I finally reached the hospital behind him. We had only been married a year. We had a baby boy. I was pregnant with Kymball, I was morning sick, my little boys had just watched their father get slammed by a truck and go flying through the air and I could not be there with them. What would await me when I reached the hospital and would I be able to handle what I would find. It was truly the worst morning of my life. We were just starting to feel like a family.They wouldn't let me see him. I waited and waited... a preacher walked down to bring us comfort. That is a terrifying picture- watching a preacher with a bible walk towards you when you don't know if your loved one is alive or dead. Waiting... waiting...
Finally they took me to the ICU to see him and listed his injuries, then they told me that I should not expect him to live through the day but not to tell anyone because then everyone would loose hope and come in to say goodbye to him. They told me Richard would feel their 'goodbye' and that he would quit fighting and let himself pass on so we had to keep the 'feelings' around him full of hope and positivity. I was alone. My best friend and confidant lay broken and dying... I was alone.
I dont know what I would have done that day without my friend, Deanna Gordon & my sister in law, Tiffany Steele. They got me through and kept me going. I turned my children, my home and every other part of my life over to my friend Dee and she took care of everything. Not just that day but for weeks! I did not have to worry that my children were being loved on and fed. I did not have to worry if my bills were being paid in my absence, if there was gas in my car of if my laundry was getting done. Dee organized everything, rallied the troops and my family & church family came to the rescue in all of those areas. Tiffany stayed with me and stayed awake for 24 hours- she made sure that I ate and drank. She kept me company. She tried to help me rest. She listened when I needed to talk and let me cry when I needed to cry. Tiffany was hopeful & supportive when I needed it and made the phone calls that needed to be made. She barely left my side and kept me going through a day that I did not think I would survive. I do not know what I would have done without these two amazing women and I still thank God and pray blessings for them every day!
I remember all of the kind acts and there were too many to mention. I remember the brother from my church who brought in a huge roll of $1 bills for the vending machines knowing that I would not want to leave the ICU waiting room even for a minute- just in case. I remember every face of every loved one that came to sit with me. I remember the other ladies in the ICU with heartache in their eyes and smiles on their faces. I remember the man I had never met before that came with a friend who ran to get me milk because the vending machines did not have it and my stomach was upset. I will never forget the wonderful woman working at the hospital who found a way for me to shower and clean up at the hospital so I did not have to leave my sweetheart. I remember the names of all of those that called, that left messages of hope and prayer, the names of those that brought in food to my little ones & that had them over to play. I will never forget the boss that promised his job to him whenever he was able to return, the wonderful men & women & families who cleaned my home, bought diapers, brought me food, did my laundry, washed my car, mowed our lawn & bought our family groceries among many other things. I know there were people that I have never met who were praying for my sweet husband and for my little family. I know there were those praying for the doctors healing hands and for Gods grace. I know all of these things are the miracle and the reason that after 3 days of being told that my husband would probably not make it through the day or night he finally stabilized.
I remember when he knew who I was again. I remember when he smiled because I was there. I remember when he finally started to be awake more than he was asleep and when he took his first steps & when he asked for some Root Beer! I remember when the doctors asked him to walk 50 feet and he walked 300. I remember his determination to heal and come home to his family. I remember watching him struggle to do the things that he had never even thought about doing before, the pain he felt as he pushed faster then he should have to get better. The day that he came home he was weak, pale, exhausted and had lost 30 pounds but he was home and HE WAS ALIVE! We were smiling together again, laughing together again and he had joy watching his children go along doing the every day things that children do. I have watched him struggle, change and fight to become whole again these past 2 years and I am grateful for every day that we have been gifted! There are not words to say Thank You. There are not prayers of gratitude big enough. I KNOW that we have a loving Father above who wants us to have joy. I know that HE is full of Grace and kindness. I know because he has gifted me more time with a man that I do not deserve... a man who has healed my broken heart, who is teaching me to be gentle & patient. A man who reminds me every day to be happy. A man that is a gift and a wonderful example to my children and who reminds me to be grateful. I am. I am so very grateful! I am grateful for every smile, for every argument, for every family outing, for every laugh and for every kiss that I have been gifted these past 2 years.
I will always be indebted and so very grateful...
