Happy 2nd Birthday Princess Sugar Bean!

I can not believe that my baby is 2 today! Where has the time gone?

 I love your feisty attitude and your little high pitched voice & giggle. I love the way that you look at us when you are about to choose to do something naughty and you smile that smile. I love your dimples, your giggle & your new little girl laugh.

I love that you harass your brothers and that somehow your two big sisters bend to your will with just a look. I love that you can be sweet and helpful, that you are silly and always want to be outside. I love that if there is a mud puddle within a mile you will find it and bathe yourself in it and if there isn't a mud puddle around you find a way to make one.

 I love your curly wet hair and that it looks copper in the sunlight. I love the way your wrap your arms around my neck and squeeze so tightly.

 I think it is funny that you already want 'girlie' things like purses, pretty dolls & sparkly shoes.

I hate the sound of your little musical sea horse at 3am every night as it comes closer and closer to my room and then as it is thrown into my face just before you climb up into my bed but I love that you cuddle up and happily fall back to sleep in my arms.

I LOVE that you have your daddy completely wrapped around your finger and that he turns into a puddle when you smile and coo at him.

 You are our sweetheart and a true delight for our family. I am so glad that you came to make our family whole. We love you and hope that you have a very happy birthday!!!
          I love you 'Pwincess Suh-gah Bean'!!!!

HaPpY 14th BiRtHdAy SaRaH!!!!

14 Years ago an amazing thing happened- my Sarah Elizabeth Stanford decided to join our family. From the very beginning she has been a joy, my best little friend and a great teacher and example to me.

Sarah has always been happy- even as an infant she was always smiling, rarely cried and was fun to be around. We lived in a very small little town with no friends and nowhere to go so Sarah and I spent all of our time talking & playing together. She was always my little shadow. She taught me how to be a mother. She has taught me how to be a BETTER mother. She was a fun toddler & little girl and was talking before she knew what words were- even then her Dad and I couldn't keep up. Sarah has always liked to play- her daddy used to come home from work and race around the house wrestling, playing hide & seek & whatever other silly game they made up with her for hours. He always wore out before she did. He still does!

Sarah loves people- she has ALWAYS loved people. She has always been able to make friends wherever she goes- grocery stores, the beach, school, church, on vacations, at the gas station as I go up to pay even!


Sarah is eager to smile and brighten someones day. Sarah is an amazing big sister- she is fun, patient, caring, silly & has lots of energy. She and Rachel have been best friends from day one. When Rachel was a baby Sarah would go up to her crib when she began to cry and would sing to her 'No try Rachel- No try.' She meant 'Dont Cry' but it was so cute we never corrected her. When Sarah was 4 she saw a little girl without hair due to Chemotherapy and wanted to do something to help so she grew her hair out and donated it to 'Locks of Love' TWICE that year! In Kindergarten she got a coat that she had been dreaming about for her birthday. We went to her school Christmas program the night that she got it and during the program they announced they were going to have a coat drive and asked for donations- everyone hesitated because it seemed a spur of the moment announcement except my Sarah. She took off her coat, hugging it all of the way to the front of the gymnasium and went to put it on the table. She had tears in her eyes and a smile on her face as she walked back to me with empty arms. She continues to give eagerly of all that she has- her time, her talents and of herself to this day.

Sarah is an amazing friend and is always kind- even to those that are unkind, and often in my eyes, undeserving of her friendship. She is patient and loving and reminds me every day that I want to be a better person. Sarah has always been a 'Gg's Girl' as we call her. She and my Grandma have always had a special connection and Sarah will sacrifice whatever else is going on in her life to get to spend any amount of time, no matter how long, with my Grandmother, They shop, talk, do puzzles, play games, watch shows and eat goodies. My Grandmother is one of Sarahs favorite people and it is my favorite thing ever to hear them laughing together! Sarah is so very helpful and I honestly do not know what I would do without her. I love when she comes home from school & is telling me about her day before she has even come all of the way through the door. I love that she still wants to hold my hand in public and that she will snuggle up to watch a movie with me on the couch. Sarah is a delight and a joy and I would be lost without her. Thank you for beginning my family baby girl and for being one of my best friends! I LOVE YOU!!!!

A Unique situation...

I get a lot of surprised comments & shocked expressions when people ask about my Ex-husbands & I tell them what great guys they are. The expressions & comments get even better when I tell them that my Ex's stay in my home & use our cars when they come to visit. It simply doesn't seem to be a situation many people can comprehend. But I love it & it works for our family...

Amazingly I have managed to find & marry 3 wonderful fathers, men who adore their children, pay child support, call their children almost nightly & who come out to visit their children as often as they can instead of taking big vacations. My Ex husbands try to help out with any financial extras that come up for the kids, they take their vacations to our home to spend time with their children & when they are here in my home they are polite, helpful, respectful & fun to be around for all of us.

My children have 3 men who love, play with, look after, spend time with & are thoughtful of ALL of them. Sometimes I worry that the biological children will feel left out a little because the dads play with ALL of the kids ALL of the time, but it never seems to be a problem. I have 3 wonderful men in my children's lives who help build playgrounds, cook dinner, run errands, put together bikes, wash dishes, seal cement floors, mow lawns & who will work on cars when they are in my home without hesitation or complaint. There isn't arguing or fighting & the children are always put first... which has been the plan from the beginning. YES I have had all 3 Ex-husbands/husband in my home for extended visits or holidays all at the same time & it was a lot of fun for everyone. Obviously it is not 'The Perfect' situation but I believe it is as close to it as you can get & when problems or situations arise we deal with it & work it out together.

Not only do I have wonderful fathers for my children but we have been gifted with an amazing extended family. My kids have a ton of Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Great Grandparents & other loved ones who love & spoil them. Perfect Examples~ #1- When Grandma Pati sends a holiday package to Sarah & Rachel there are always treats & gifts inside of it for the 3 little ones and #2- When Aunt Tiffany takes ALL of the kids a few at a time to the Pumpkin Patch or Haunted House every year. The kids are called on holidays & birthdays, they are ALL talked to on SKYPE & they all feel loved, special & looked after. that is the point after all isn't it- not who is married to who or who divorced who & why... it's making sure that the family unit is in tact & that the children grow up in the most loving & supportive environment possible. I am so blessed to have 3 men & an extended family who help make that possible for my children. If you want to raise your eyebrows in shock at something raise them in shock at the awesome job we are doing because we are!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY RACHIE BUG!!!

I can not believe that my Rachel is 12 years old! Where has the time gone? Just yesterday she was in my arms for the first time with her wide eyes and her strawberry blonde hair. Where did this long, lean, girl of fashion come from & where is that little red head of hair that I loved?!?

My Rachie has been a joy to our family from day one. She has been sweet & quiet & funny since before she could talk. She has always been more quiet than Sarah & I and just kind of watched everyone & everything that's gone on. She has never had to be in the middle of things & is just happy to be around. As soon as Rachel could crawl she would crawl away from wherever Sarah & I had been playing with her into her bedroom & close the door. Then she would knock on the door when she was done playing by herself. I think Sarah & I & our extroverted ways have always stressed her out a little bit.

If there is a baby around you better believe that Rachie has her eye on it waiting & watching for the mommy to need a hand. She is patient, gentle & very capable. She has always helped with her brothers & sisters & is often my right hand. Rachel loves music, chocolate, clothes, dancing, reading, movies, jewelry, snacks, playing outside, sending emails to her grandparents in Russia & downloading music for her ipod. She is THE QUEEN of texting & loves her pink cell phone.

Rachel enjoys shopping & has recently discovered the joy of saving $ earned for something special- she bought a bike that she has had her eye on for quite some time today. She has spent months babysitting & doing chores to save enough for the bike & today her smile was huge as she took it out for the first time.

Rachel loves road trips & going to Utah to visit her Daddy, friends & family. Her favorite thing to do in Utah- besides going out to eat at all of her favorite restaurants is to ride on the back of her Daddy's Ducati bullet bike up in the mountains. He pretty much has to peel her off of the bike to get her inside after a ride. My sweet girl- you are so easy to be around and such a delight to me. I am proud of you and the awesome person that you choose to be (when you aren't biting your sister because you are super mad) everyday.

I LOVE YOU TO PIECES & hope that you have a VERY HAPPY 12th BIRTHDAY!!!!

Our Families Gift of Life

I can not help but find myself feeling overwhelmed with gratitude this time of year. Grateful for every day that my children and I have been gifted with Rick. This week will be the 2 year anniversary since the boys & I witnessed Richard get hit by a truck and watched as he was life-lighted to Heartland Hospital in Saint Joseph. I remember every second of that morning. I remember every feeling of that day. I remember holding him and trying to get him to be still as he lay smashed, broken and bleeding. As he was screaming & crying in pain- begging God for his life. I remember the fear and the helplessness and the pain of watching him suffer. I remember the relief felt as my fathers truck came into view... the comfort I felt just seeing his face and knowing that he was there. I remember the complete and overwhelming fear of the unknown- would my husband still be alive when I finally reached the hospital behind him. We had only been married a year. We had a baby boy. I was pregnant with Kymball, I was morning sick, my little boys had just watched their father get slammed by a truck and go flying through the air and I could not be there with them. What would await me when I reached the hospital and would I be able to handle what I would find. It was truly the worst morning of my life. We were just starting to feel like a family.

They wouldn't let me see him. I waited and waited... a preacher walked down to bring us comfort. That is a terrifying picture- watching a preacher with a bible walk towards you when you don't know if your loved one is alive or dead. Waiting... waiting...
Finally they took me to the ICU to see him and listed his injuries, then they told me that I should not expect him to live through the day but not to tell anyone because then everyone would loose hope and come in to say goodbye to him. They told me Richard would feel their 'goodbye' and that he would quit fighting and let himself pass on so we had to keep the 'feelings' around him full of hope and positivity. I was alone. My best friend and confidant lay broken and dying... I was alone.

I dont know what I would have done that day without my friend, Deanna Gordon & my sister in law, Tiffany Steele. They got me through and kept me going. I turned my children, my home and every other part of my life over to my friend Dee and she took care of everything. Not just that day but for weeks! I did not have to worry that my children were being loved on and fed. I did not have to worry if my bills were being paid in my absence, if there was gas in my car of if my laundry was getting done. Dee organized everything, rallied the troops and my family & church family came to the rescue in all of those areas. Tiffany stayed with me and stayed awake for 24 hours- she made sure that I ate and drank. She kept me company. She tried to help me rest. She listened when I needed to talk and let me cry when I needed to cry. Tiffany was hopeful & supportive when I needed it and made the phone calls that needed to be made. She barely left my side and kept me going through a day that I did not think I would survive. I do not know what I would have done without these two amazing women and I still thank God and pray blessings for them every day!

I remember all of the kind acts and there were too many to mention. I remember the brother from my church who brought in a huge roll of $1 bills for the vending machines knowing that I would not want to leave the ICU waiting room even for a minute- just in case. I remember every face of every loved one that came to sit with me. I remember the other ladies in the ICU with heartache in their eyes and smiles on their faces. I remember the man I had never met before that came with a friend who ran to get me milk because the vending machines did not have it and my stomach was upset. I will never forget the wonderful woman working at the hospital who found a way for me to shower and clean up at the hospital so I did not have to leave my sweetheart. I remember the names of all of those that called, that left messages of hope and prayer, the names of those that brought in food to my little ones & that had them over to play. I will never forget the boss that promised his job to him whenever he was able to return, the wonderful men & women & families who cleaned my home, bought diapers, brought me food, did my laundry, washed my car, mowed our lawn & bought our family groceries among many other things. I know there were people that I have never met who were praying for my sweet husband and for my little family. I know there were those praying for the doctors healing hands and for Gods grace. I know all of these things are the miracle and the reason that after 3 days of being told that my husband would probably not make it through the day or night he finally stabilized.

I remember when he knew who I was again. I remember when he smiled because I was there. I remember when he finally started to be awake more than he was asleep and when he took his first steps & when he asked for some Root Beer! I remember when the doctors asked him to walk 50 feet and he walked 300. I remember his determination to heal and come home to his family. I remember watching him struggle to do the things that he had never even thought about doing before, the pain he felt as he pushed faster then he should have to get better. The day that he came home he was weak, pale, exhausted and had lost 30 pounds but he was home and HE WAS ALIVE! We were smiling together again, laughing together again and he had joy watching his children go along doing the every day things that children do. I have watched him struggle, change and fight to become whole again these past 2 years and I am grateful for every day that we have been gifted! There are not words to say Thank You. There are not prayers of gratitude big enough. I KNOW that we have a loving Father above who wants us to have joy. I know that HE is full of Grace and kindness. I know because he has gifted me more time with a man that I do not deserve... a man who has healed my broken heart, who is teaching me to be gentle & patient. A man who reminds me every day to be happy. A man that is a gift and a wonderful example to my children and who reminds me to be grateful. I am. I am so very grateful! I am grateful for every smile, for every argument, for every family outing, for every laugh and for every kiss that I have been gifted these past 2 years. I will always be indebted and so very grateful...

A Wonderful Get Away!

Last month my parents called to let my husband and I know that my baby brother Ethan and his beautiful wife Ciara were headed to the Salt Lake City Temple to be sealed. My parents decided that they wanted Rick & I to go represent them, since they are serving a mission in Russia and could not make it. They were going to fly Rick & I out to Utah for the event. I was so excited to go home and to get to be there for my little brother that I could hardly stand it! It has been years and years since I have been home and I could not wait to see my family, friends & the beautiful mountains again. My Richard had never been to Utah and I could not wait to show him my home. We flew in the morning of the sealing & went right to see my grandmother who had generously offered to let us stay with her during our trip. She has a lovely condo right off of temple square. We were able to spend some time that morning walking around the Farmers Market with my GG and my Uncle Elbert- it was lovely! Then we raced off to spend some time with my baby brother, his wife and my sister Amy. I had a great time talking & laughing with them & had almost forgotten how fun it is to listen to my sister talk. She is a GREAT story teller, very animated and makes the best faces as she goes along. It was so much fun to be laughing with them again. I have missed them so much. That evening we walked down to the temple and shared in a beautiful ceremony with loved ones. My brothers mother in law and their family put together a really nice celebration after the sealing with super good food. It was a fun get together & I am grateful that my brother is part of such a loving & supportive family. My husband was eager to take me to do all of the things that I have been missing out on since I moved to Missouri & decided we were off to get Sushi. We went to a wonderful Thai restaurant, sat under the stars on their patio with the breeze gently rolling down on us out of the mountains & had a very romantic meal.
Sunday morning I woke up early, eager to not waste too much time sleeping, and we headed home to Alpine. I could not wait to see my best friend Jenn! We grabbed donuts for her kids and raced over. I think I actually ran from the car to her front door. She had an awesome breakfast laid out for us and we spent the morning chatting and laughing with her and her children. I could not have been any happier. We went to church in my old neighborhood and loved getting to see most of my favorite people. Then we went for a drive up the canyon with my friend Jenifer Clegg from high school, it was a lot of fun to listen to her talk and giggle. She is truly one of the most upbeat people that I know and it was so much fun seeing her again. We were able to spend the evening with my best friend Jenn & her children and her beautiful sister Brandi and her family joined us. It was absolutely an amazing day & for the record-no one makes potato salad as good and Jennifer Ware! Not even my mother, and she would agree with me. After what was a difficult 'see ya later' for me we got to visit with my Aunt Sheri & Uncle Larry who I have loved being around for as long as I can remember. They aren't my family by blood but have been there through thick & thin & I could not ask for a more loving, funny & supportive Aunt or Uncle. It really was an amazing day & it is still carrying me through.
I woke up super early our last day there and Rickard & I began doing a little housekeeping for my Gg. Then she took us out to brunch with my Uncle and my sister. It was so fun to talk and spend the morning with them. I have missed being around my family & loved ones. I have missed the light that they bring into my life. My Gg was worried about my old wardrobe & insisted on taking me to find something new to wear. She bought me a much needed skirt & shirt for church with a lovely necklace and a sweater. Even my husband was excited about the clothes. I think he is tired of looking at the maternity denim skirt & black t-shirt that I have been wearing almost every Sunday these past 3 years. We walked around Temple square & then went to have dinner with some friends from Junior High that both moved from Ohio & ended up in Utah. It was a lot of fun meeting their children & hearing about their lives. My Ex-husband (and very good friend) Rob Stanford met us at dinner & then took us over to his friends cookie shop so I could take some treats home for the kids. He even took Richard on his first motorcycle ride.
It was a lovely trip full of almost all of my favorite people- in my favorite place. My husband is in love with Utah now and can finally understand why I miss it & the people there so very much. I am so grateful to my thoughtful & giving parents & grandmother & for all of my loved ones there that made time for us. I am also grateful for my loved ones here that helped with the kids & made our trip possible. I can not wait to go home again.

Back to School!

I can not believe that it is that time of year already. Summer has come and gone so quickly and now it is time to move on to different things. that makes me both sad and a little excited. There are so many things that we have enjoyed this past summer- our swimming pool, Rick taking the summer off from College, the girls trip to Utah with their grandparents to visit their father and family, Gabriel's father coming to visit him here, Rick and I getting to slip away to Utah (just the two of us) for my brothers sealing and to see loved ones, not to mention the friends and family who visited us, the play days, the picnics, the movie days and all of the yardwork! It has been a jam packed summer and we have loved- loved- loved it!

We are all excited about the changes that are taking place in our home this year and Rick begins another year of college at Missouri Western State university, as Sarah begins high school and as my Gabriel- my boy- enters Kindergarten. I can not believe that at 34 years old I have a husband in college, a high schooler, a junior high student, a kindergartener, a terrible 2 and a 1 year old! Just typing it all out makes me tired and I admit that I do have a hard time keeping up with all of their different needs but I LOVE it and wouldn't change it for anything.

Sarah is loving high school- especially her language and french classes. she dropped Band this year because she has taken it and nothing else for years and wanted to try something new. Gabriel is kind of quiet about kindergarten- I know that he is not very fond of 'Resting his mind and his body' after lunchtime and he says that he does 'not know how to eat fast' at lunch. He seems to like his teacher and most of the other kids so I guess it is going well. He can write his entire name by himself now and wonders why I didn't name him something 'short'.

The babies keep Rachel and I on our toes- I say Rachel because she has decided to school at home again this year and because he health has been so good since we pulled her out I agreed. She loves going to my Aunt Susans to do a few classes like Horticulture and reading. she loves planting things and watching them grow. She gets her school work done quickly and then is off to read the next book in whatever series she has discovered- lately it has been Harry Potter.

Ammon is definitely a 'terrible two' and is into everything ALL of the time. I barely get one mess cleaned up before he has created another. He loves the movie CARS and is into everything that has to do with it or with Mater. He is talking more and more everyday and loves telling his baby sister 'NO KIMMIE!' Kymball is the most feisty one year old that I have ever had. She is bossy as all get out and wants what she wants when she wants it. She is into throwing fits right now and has become very good at it. She loves music and dancing and snuggling. She gives great hugs and prefers to be held rather than walking. She is a Daddy's girl and already knows how to work that to her advantage. There is never a dull moment at our house!