HaPpY 14th BiRtHdAy SaRaH!!!!

14 Years ago an amazing thing happened- my Sarah Elizabeth Stanford decided to join our family. From the very beginning she has been a joy, my best little friend and a great teacher and example to me.

Sarah has always been happy- even as an infant she was always smiling, rarely cried and was fun to be around. We lived in a very small little town with no friends and nowhere to go so Sarah and I spent all of our time talking & playing together. She was always my little shadow. She taught me how to be a mother. She has taught me how to be a BETTER mother. She was a fun toddler & little girl and was talking before she knew what words were- even then her Dad and I couldn't keep up. Sarah has always liked to play- her daddy used to come home from work and race around the house wrestling, playing hide & seek & whatever other silly game they made up with her for hours. He always wore out before she did. He still does!

Sarah loves people- she has ALWAYS loved people. She has always been able to make friends wherever she goes- grocery stores, the beach, school, church, on vacations, at the gas station as I go up to pay even!


Sarah is eager to smile and brighten someones day. Sarah is an amazing big sister- she is fun, patient, caring, silly & has lots of energy. She and Rachel have been best friends from day one. When Rachel was a baby Sarah would go up to her crib when she began to cry and would sing to her 'No try Rachel- No try.' She meant 'Dont Cry' but it was so cute we never corrected her. When Sarah was 4 she saw a little girl without hair due to Chemotherapy and wanted to do something to help so she grew her hair out and donated it to 'Locks of Love' TWICE that year! In Kindergarten she got a coat that she had been dreaming about for her birthday. We went to her school Christmas program the night that she got it and during the program they announced they were going to have a coat drive and asked for donations- everyone hesitated because it seemed a spur of the moment announcement except my Sarah. She took off her coat, hugging it all of the way to the front of the gymnasium and went to put it on the table. She had tears in her eyes and a smile on her face as she walked back to me with empty arms. She continues to give eagerly of all that she has- her time, her talents and of herself to this day.

Sarah is an amazing friend and is always kind- even to those that are unkind, and often in my eyes, undeserving of her friendship. She is patient and loving and reminds me every day that I want to be a better person. Sarah has always been a 'Gg's Girl' as we call her. She and my Grandma have always had a special connection and Sarah will sacrifice whatever else is going on in her life to get to spend any amount of time, no matter how long, with my Grandmother, They shop, talk, do puzzles, play games, watch shows and eat goodies. My Grandmother is one of Sarahs favorite people and it is my favorite thing ever to hear them laughing together! Sarah is so very helpful and I honestly do not know what I would do without her. I love when she comes home from school & is telling me about her day before she has even come all of the way through the door. I love that she still wants to hold my hand in public and that she will snuggle up to watch a movie with me on the couch. Sarah is a delight and a joy and I would be lost without her. Thank you for beginning my family baby girl and for being one of my best friends! I LOVE YOU!!!!

A Unique situation...

I get a lot of surprised comments & shocked expressions when people ask about my Ex-husbands & I tell them what great guys they are. The expressions & comments get even better when I tell them that my Ex's stay in my home & use our cars when they come to visit. It simply doesn't seem to be a situation many people can comprehend. But I love it & it works for our family...

Amazingly I have managed to find & marry 3 wonderful fathers, men who adore their children, pay child support, call their children almost nightly & who come out to visit their children as often as they can instead of taking big vacations. My Ex husbands try to help out with any financial extras that come up for the kids, they take their vacations to our home to spend time with their children & when they are here in my home they are polite, helpful, respectful & fun to be around for all of us.

My children have 3 men who love, play with, look after, spend time with & are thoughtful of ALL of them. Sometimes I worry that the biological children will feel left out a little because the dads play with ALL of the kids ALL of the time, but it never seems to be a problem. I have 3 wonderful men in my children's lives who help build playgrounds, cook dinner, run errands, put together bikes, wash dishes, seal cement floors, mow lawns & who will work on cars when they are in my home without hesitation or complaint. There isn't arguing or fighting & the children are always put first... which has been the plan from the beginning. YES I have had all 3 Ex-husbands/husband in my home for extended visits or holidays all at the same time & it was a lot of fun for everyone. Obviously it is not 'The Perfect' situation but I believe it is as close to it as you can get & when problems or situations arise we deal with it & work it out together.

Not only do I have wonderful fathers for my children but we have been gifted with an amazing extended family. My kids have a ton of Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Great Grandparents & other loved ones who love & spoil them. Perfect Examples~ #1- When Grandma Pati sends a holiday package to Sarah & Rachel there are always treats & gifts inside of it for the 3 little ones and #2- When Aunt Tiffany takes ALL of the kids a few at a time to the Pumpkin Patch or Haunted House every year. The kids are called on holidays & birthdays, they are ALL talked to on SKYPE & they all feel loved, special & looked after. that is the point after all isn't it- not who is married to who or who divorced who & why... it's making sure that the family unit is in tact & that the children grow up in the most loving & supportive environment possible. I am so blessed to have 3 men & an extended family who help make that possible for my children. If you want to raise your eyebrows in shock at something raise them in shock at the awesome job we are doing because we are!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY RACHIE BUG!!!

I can not believe that my Rachel is 12 years old! Where has the time gone? Just yesterday she was in my arms for the first time with her wide eyes and her strawberry blonde hair. Where did this long, lean, girl of fashion come from & where is that little red head of hair that I loved?!?

My Rachie has been a joy to our family from day one. She has been sweet & quiet & funny since before she could talk. She has always been more quiet than Sarah & I and just kind of watched everyone & everything that's gone on. She has never had to be in the middle of things & is just happy to be around. As soon as Rachel could crawl she would crawl away from wherever Sarah & I had been playing with her into her bedroom & close the door. Then she would knock on the door when she was done playing by herself. I think Sarah & I & our extroverted ways have always stressed her out a little bit.

If there is a baby around you better believe that Rachie has her eye on it waiting & watching for the mommy to need a hand. She is patient, gentle & very capable. She has always helped with her brothers & sisters & is often my right hand. Rachel loves music, chocolate, clothes, dancing, reading, movies, jewelry, snacks, playing outside, sending emails to her grandparents in Russia & downloading music for her ipod. She is THE QUEEN of texting & loves her pink cell phone.

Rachel enjoys shopping & has recently discovered the joy of saving $ earned for something special- she bought a bike that she has had her eye on for quite some time today. She has spent months babysitting & doing chores to save enough for the bike & today her smile was huge as she took it out for the first time.

Rachel loves road trips & going to Utah to visit her Daddy, friends & family. Her favorite thing to do in Utah- besides going out to eat at all of her favorite restaurants is to ride on the back of her Daddy's Ducati bullet bike up in the mountains. He pretty much has to peel her off of the bike to get her inside after a ride. My sweet girl- you are so easy to be around and such a delight to me. I am proud of you and the awesome person that you choose to be (when you aren't biting your sister because you are super mad) everyday.

I LOVE YOU TO PIECES & hope that you have a VERY HAPPY 12th BIRTHDAY!!!!

Our Families Gift of Life

I can not help but find myself feeling overwhelmed with gratitude this time of year. Grateful for every day that my children and I have been gifted with Rick. This week will be the 2 year anniversary since the boys & I witnessed Richard get hit by a truck and watched as he was life-lighted to Heartland Hospital in Saint Joseph. I remember every second of that morning. I remember every feeling of that day. I remember holding him and trying to get him to be still as he lay smashed, broken and bleeding. As he was screaming & crying in pain- begging God for his life. I remember the fear and the helplessness and the pain of watching him suffer. I remember the relief felt as my fathers truck came into view... the comfort I felt just seeing his face and knowing that he was there. I remember the complete and overwhelming fear of the unknown- would my husband still be alive when I finally reached the hospital behind him. We had only been married a year. We had a baby boy. I was pregnant with Kymball, I was morning sick, my little boys had just watched their father get slammed by a truck and go flying through the air and I could not be there with them. What would await me when I reached the hospital and would I be able to handle what I would find. It was truly the worst morning of my life. We were just starting to feel like a family.

They wouldn't let me see him. I waited and waited... a preacher walked down to bring us comfort. That is a terrifying picture- watching a preacher with a bible walk towards you when you don't know if your loved one is alive or dead. Waiting... waiting...
Finally they took me to the ICU to see him and listed his injuries, then they told me that I should not expect him to live through the day but not to tell anyone because then everyone would loose hope and come in to say goodbye to him. They told me Richard would feel their 'goodbye' and that he would quit fighting and let himself pass on so we had to keep the 'feelings' around him full of hope and positivity. I was alone. My best friend and confidant lay broken and dying... I was alone.

I dont know what I would have done that day without my friend, Deanna Gordon & my sister in law, Tiffany Steele. They got me through and kept me going. I turned my children, my home and every other part of my life over to my friend Dee and she took care of everything. Not just that day but for weeks! I did not have to worry that my children were being loved on and fed. I did not have to worry if my bills were being paid in my absence, if there was gas in my car of if my laundry was getting done. Dee organized everything, rallied the troops and my family & church family came to the rescue in all of those areas. Tiffany stayed with me and stayed awake for 24 hours- she made sure that I ate and drank. She kept me company. She tried to help me rest. She listened when I needed to talk and let me cry when I needed to cry. Tiffany was hopeful & supportive when I needed it and made the phone calls that needed to be made. She barely left my side and kept me going through a day that I did not think I would survive. I do not know what I would have done without these two amazing women and I still thank God and pray blessings for them every day!

I remember all of the kind acts and there were too many to mention. I remember the brother from my church who brought in a huge roll of $1 bills for the vending machines knowing that I would not want to leave the ICU waiting room even for a minute- just in case. I remember every face of every loved one that came to sit with me. I remember the other ladies in the ICU with heartache in their eyes and smiles on their faces. I remember the man I had never met before that came with a friend who ran to get me milk because the vending machines did not have it and my stomach was upset. I will never forget the wonderful woman working at the hospital who found a way for me to shower and clean up at the hospital so I did not have to leave my sweetheart. I remember the names of all of those that called, that left messages of hope and prayer, the names of those that brought in food to my little ones & that had them over to play. I will never forget the boss that promised his job to him whenever he was able to return, the wonderful men & women & families who cleaned my home, bought diapers, brought me food, did my laundry, washed my car, mowed our lawn & bought our family groceries among many other things. I know there were people that I have never met who were praying for my sweet husband and for my little family. I know there were those praying for the doctors healing hands and for Gods grace. I know all of these things are the miracle and the reason that after 3 days of being told that my husband would probably not make it through the day or night he finally stabilized.

I remember when he knew who I was again. I remember when he smiled because I was there. I remember when he finally started to be awake more than he was asleep and when he took his first steps & when he asked for some Root Beer! I remember when the doctors asked him to walk 50 feet and he walked 300. I remember his determination to heal and come home to his family. I remember watching him struggle to do the things that he had never even thought about doing before, the pain he felt as he pushed faster then he should have to get better. The day that he came home he was weak, pale, exhausted and had lost 30 pounds but he was home and HE WAS ALIVE! We were smiling together again, laughing together again and he had joy watching his children go along doing the every day things that children do. I have watched him struggle, change and fight to become whole again these past 2 years and I am grateful for every day that we have been gifted! There are not words to say Thank You. There are not prayers of gratitude big enough. I KNOW that we have a loving Father above who wants us to have joy. I know that HE is full of Grace and kindness. I know because he has gifted me more time with a man that I do not deserve... a man who has healed my broken heart, who is teaching me to be gentle & patient. A man who reminds me every day to be happy. A man that is a gift and a wonderful example to my children and who reminds me to be grateful. I am. I am so very grateful! I am grateful for every smile, for every argument, for every family outing, for every laugh and for every kiss that I have been gifted these past 2 years. I will always be indebted and so very grateful...

A Wonderful Get Away!

Last month my parents called to let my husband and I know that my baby brother Ethan and his beautiful wife Ciara were headed to the Salt Lake City Temple to be sealed. My parents decided that they wanted Rick & I to go represent them, since they are serving a mission in Russia and could not make it. They were going to fly Rick & I out to Utah for the event. I was so excited to go home and to get to be there for my little brother that I could hardly stand it! It has been years and years since I have been home and I could not wait to see my family, friends & the beautiful mountains again. My Richard had never been to Utah and I could not wait to show him my home. We flew in the morning of the sealing & went right to see my grandmother who had generously offered to let us stay with her during our trip. She has a lovely condo right off of temple square. We were able to spend some time that morning walking around the Farmers Market with my GG and my Uncle Elbert- it was lovely! Then we raced off to spend some time with my baby brother, his wife and my sister Amy. I had a great time talking & laughing with them & had almost forgotten how fun it is to listen to my sister talk. She is a GREAT story teller, very animated and makes the best faces as she goes along. It was so much fun to be laughing with them again. I have missed them so much. That evening we walked down to the temple and shared in a beautiful ceremony with loved ones. My brothers mother in law and their family put together a really nice celebration after the sealing with super good food. It was a fun get together & I am grateful that my brother is part of such a loving & supportive family. My husband was eager to take me to do all of the things that I have been missing out on since I moved to Missouri & decided we were off to get Sushi. We went to a wonderful Thai restaurant, sat under the stars on their patio with the breeze gently rolling down on us out of the mountains & had a very romantic meal.
Sunday morning I woke up early, eager to not waste too much time sleeping, and we headed home to Alpine. I could not wait to see my best friend Jenn! We grabbed donuts for her kids and raced over. I think I actually ran from the car to her front door. She had an awesome breakfast laid out for us and we spent the morning chatting and laughing with her and her children. I could not have been any happier. We went to church in my old neighborhood and loved getting to see most of my favorite people. Then we went for a drive up the canyon with my friend Jenifer Clegg from high school, it was a lot of fun to listen to her talk and giggle. She is truly one of the most upbeat people that I know and it was so much fun seeing her again. We were able to spend the evening with my best friend Jenn & her children and her beautiful sister Brandi and her family joined us. It was absolutely an amazing day & for the record-no one makes potato salad as good and Jennifer Ware! Not even my mother, and she would agree with me. After what was a difficult 'see ya later' for me we got to visit with my Aunt Sheri & Uncle Larry who I have loved being around for as long as I can remember. They aren't my family by blood but have been there through thick & thin & I could not ask for a more loving, funny & supportive Aunt or Uncle. It really was an amazing day & it is still carrying me through.
I woke up super early our last day there and Rickard & I began doing a little housekeeping for my Gg. Then she took us out to brunch with my Uncle and my sister. It was so fun to talk and spend the morning with them. I have missed being around my family & loved ones. I have missed the light that they bring into my life. My Gg was worried about my old wardrobe & insisted on taking me to find something new to wear. She bought me a much needed skirt & shirt for church with a lovely necklace and a sweater. Even my husband was excited about the clothes. I think he is tired of looking at the maternity denim skirt & black t-shirt that I have been wearing almost every Sunday these past 3 years. We walked around Temple square & then went to have dinner with some friends from Junior High that both moved from Ohio & ended up in Utah. It was a lot of fun meeting their children & hearing about their lives. My Ex-husband (and very good friend) Rob Stanford met us at dinner & then took us over to his friends cookie shop so I could take some treats home for the kids. He even took Richard on his first motorcycle ride.
It was a lovely trip full of almost all of my favorite people- in my favorite place. My husband is in love with Utah now and can finally understand why I miss it & the people there so very much. I am so grateful to my thoughtful & giving parents & grandmother & for all of my loved ones there that made time for us. I am also grateful for my loved ones here that helped with the kids & made our trip possible. I can not wait to go home again.

Back to School!

I can not believe that it is that time of year already. Summer has come and gone so quickly and now it is time to move on to different things. that makes me both sad and a little excited. There are so many things that we have enjoyed this past summer- our swimming pool, Rick taking the summer off from College, the girls trip to Utah with their grandparents to visit their father and family, Gabriel's father coming to visit him here, Rick and I getting to slip away to Utah (just the two of us) for my brothers sealing and to see loved ones, not to mention the friends and family who visited us, the play days, the picnics, the movie days and all of the yardwork! It has been a jam packed summer and we have loved- loved- loved it!

We are all excited about the changes that are taking place in our home this year and Rick begins another year of college at Missouri Western State university, as Sarah begins high school and as my Gabriel- my boy- enters Kindergarten. I can not believe that at 34 years old I have a husband in college, a high schooler, a junior high student, a kindergartener, a terrible 2 and a 1 year old! Just typing it all out makes me tired and I admit that I do have a hard time keeping up with all of their different needs but I LOVE it and wouldn't change it for anything.

Sarah is loving high school- especially her language and french classes. she dropped Band this year because she has taken it and nothing else for years and wanted to try something new. Gabriel is kind of quiet about kindergarten- I know that he is not very fond of 'Resting his mind and his body' after lunchtime and he says that he does 'not know how to eat fast' at lunch. He seems to like his teacher and most of the other kids so I guess it is going well. He can write his entire name by himself now and wonders why I didn't name him something 'short'.

The babies keep Rachel and I on our toes- I say Rachel because she has decided to school at home again this year and because he health has been so good since we pulled her out I agreed. She loves going to my Aunt Susans to do a few classes like Horticulture and reading. she loves planting things and watching them grow. She gets her school work done quickly and then is off to read the next book in whatever series she has discovered- lately it has been Harry Potter.

Ammon is definitely a 'terrible two' and is into everything ALL of the time. I barely get one mess cleaned up before he has created another. He loves the movie CARS and is into everything that has to do with it or with Mater. He is talking more and more everyday and loves telling his baby sister 'NO KIMMIE!' Kymball is the most feisty one year old that I have ever had. She is bossy as all get out and wants what she wants when she wants it. She is into throwing fits right now and has become very good at it. She loves music and dancing and snuggling. She gives great hugs and prefers to be held rather than walking. She is a Daddy's girl and already knows how to work that to her advantage. There is never a dull moment at our house!

Girls Day Out!

My girls (Sarah & Rachel) are getting ready for a trip with their paternal Grandparents (The Stanfords) out to Nebraska and then to stay with their Daddy in Utah. Thanks to their Grandparents this has kind of become a summer tradition and the girls LOVE it! They spend weeks talking about what they are going to pack and giving their father lists of places they want to eat, people they want to visit and things that they want to do. Then there is the regular habit of laying out piles of clothes and getting out the suitcases 2 weeks in advance so everyone in the house is stumbling and stepping over them until the girls leave. As the day to leave gets closer the pile of clothes in slowly whittled down by Mommy and the girls are becoming more and more excited as Mommy is becoming more and more anxious. There are more texts and phone calls between girls and Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, friends and Daddy. Richard and I constantly find the girls with their phones and thank out lucky stars for our unlimited cell phone plans. 1,376 texts so far this month and I believe it is only the 15th! We did the whole- 'I have to get my haircut before I go' step a few days ago and the girls are very excited about their new looks. Last night as we began to actually select the few outfits I will let them take and put them into their suitcase it became very apparent that I have been failing as a mother. Somehow Rachel has made it this far into the summer without a single pair of capri's and 1 pair of jean shorts. She always looks so cute that I never noticed and sweet girl that she is she never complained. She had NOTHING to pack except shirts- all hand me downs from Sarah. My sweet husband noting how sad this made me and knowing how upset I was that it was getting closer to 'departure time' suggested I take the girls out for a 'Girls Day' and go shopping. He offered to stay with the boys until he had to go to work while we take off and have some 'Girl Time'.

This morning we girls headed off for some fun. We took Kymball along because she is so cute and we didn't want to leave her with the 'boring ol' boys'. The girls were starving by the time we reached Liberty so we grabbed some lunch and then headed over to Kohls- the girls favorite shopping spot. We found too many cute things and the girls had a great time playing dress up. With the clearance/sales and coupons I had we were able to get 3 pairs of capri's, a pair of shorts, 3 tank tops, 5 shirts and 2 bracelets for under $150. The girls were thrilled and we found some really cute things so it was time to go home, hurry and wash it all and pack it up for tomorrow. This evening has been spent accessorizing the new outfits with jewelry, hair things & shoes and I have loved every minute of watching them have fun. As it gets closer and closer to tomorrow I find my heart aching more and more. I am so grateful that my girls have such a wonderful family that tries to keep the girls involved with their family vacations and trips. I am very blessed that my girls have a father who will make time for them any time that he can and will do all that he can to see them as often as possible. I am so happy for the fun and special moments that lay waiting for my sweet girls and I am excited at the break that they are about to enjoy but I will miss them more than I can express. They are 2 of my best little friends and I will be anxiously awaiting any phone call, text or message from them until they are home with me again. It has been a great day and I am sad to see it end and bring tomorrow with it already. Oh well.... I guess the faster they leave the faster they will be back home with me. Let the fun begin....

The Truth...

I have been debating whether or not to post lately and if I should post what is really going on in my life. Sometimes things are not as pretty as they seem from the outside and people do not always want to know the truth. Sometimes the truth is embarrassing and even hard for others to understand. Sometimes the truth is painful and opens you up to criticism instead of help and support. But I believe in the truth. I don't believe in hiding who I am- while I may not offer information on every mistake that I have made I will tell you the truth about them and anything else if you ask or if it comes up. I do not believe in hiding what I have done or the lessons that I have learned because it has helped make me a better person and is helping to make me a better person. I am who I am- and YES I am a huge work in progress but I don't believe in pretending everything is 'sunshine and roses' all of the time. I do believe in looking for the positive in everything and trying to make whatever situation you are in better. Anyway- Sometimes talking about what is 'really' going on in someones life and what they are 'really' going through is not what people want to hear so I have put off writing about life lately- but sometimes honesty brings help, suggestions and even the answer that you are so desperately hunting for so I will write....
Something in me has changed. Something is very wrong and I feel like I can not get my doctor to take me seriously. For months I have been unable to sleep- even when the babies sleep all night. I am exhausted before I even wake up when I do sleep. I have NO energy and no desire to do anything to help improve the situation. I wake up with headaches. I ache all of the time from head to toe. My immune system is shot and I have had cold/flu like symptoms for months. I can not unwind. I can not relax. I dont care if I get dressed. In fact- I dont want to get dressed because it is too much work. I dread the kids waking up and the day ahead because it means that I have to do stuff. I used to LOVE those early morning wake ups full of smiles and hugs and 'welcome to the day' moments and now I hide. I have always LOVED playing with my kids and looked forward to all of the days adventures and funny moments with them. Now- I just want to watch from a distance, not get down and play on the floor with them. NOT ME!
I don't do housework- and for anyone that knows me that is VERY out of character. I don't want to cook- or go out with friends- again TOTALLY OUT OF CHARACTER. I am not happy but I am not sad... EVER! I don't feel anything. I put on a smiley face and try to act the way that I know I am supposed to be acting when I know I am supposed to but I don't FEEL anything. I find excuses not to go anywhere or see anyone because getting ready to leave the house is so much work and then putting on the happy face and playing the role that I know I am expected to play is exhausting.
I dont care if my phone never rings. I don't care if I ever see people. I am irritable and find myself getting very upset over things that would normally not phase me. I can not concentrate on anything. I can not focus on anything. I can not tune out any noise and get overwhelmed just by sound. I can not read because I can not tune out all of life's noises and I can not focus and get my 'head' to be quiet. I have no patience and find myself very angry over things that would never have affected me before. I can not think. I can not function.
I am desperate not to feel this way anymore. I am desperate to be ME again and to have my life and my joy back. I have been trying for months to 'get over it' to 'deal with it' and to 'move on' but I simply can not force this away. I have been trying vitamins and herbs. I have been going to my Chiropractor. I have been making myself get up and get moving. I went to my doctor and opened up to her to have her guess at meds, tell me that my Seratonin is low from having so many babies so quickly and then put me on medication that made me sleep all day every day. I went back to be told that I need to see a specialist and that they would call me to set up an appointment- that was over 3 weeks ago. Yes- I have been calling back to remind them.
I am stuck. Stuck in this hole that I can not seem to pull myself out of despite my best efforts. Yes it is affecting my friendships, my marriage & my children. Yes- I am embarrassed. Yes- it sucks. Yes- I am becoming desperate and hopeless. Yes- I am saying my prayers and reading my scriptures... I don't care what you say sometimes that does not FIX everything. No- this is not something I have brought on myself by living wickedly so save those judgments for yourself. This is my life and this is my truth right now and I am searching....
The positive in all of this is that I am SURE there is an answer- a balance that I have not found. A mineral or vitamin or chemical even that I am missing and I just have to get help and get it figured out. My husband has been amazingly loving and supportive- while he doesn't really understand he is patient and encouraging. My children have been amazing and YES I have gently explained to the older ones that something is 'off' in Mommy right now and we are trying to get it figured out so we can 'fix' it. My parents, even though they are in Russia, have been supportive, helpful and encouraging- I don't know what I would do without them, their love and advice. They are my support system. So there is the positive- my wonderful parents, amazing husband and awesome children, the Gospel that reminds me of God's love and to hope and the desire that I have to get this figured out and get back to being me. Like it or don't- there is the Truth of it.

Missouri Weather

One thing about living here in Missouri that you have to kind of expect to be crazy is the weather. Today is a beautiful 74' and tomorrow is expected to be in the high 90's with an advisable heat warning for the next 5 days. There are beautiful horrible storms on days that began without a cloud in the sky & there are days that begin thunderously and end up clear and bright. I am used to storms that build and leave with clear, crisp, cooler weather behind... here it is often the opposite. It will be just as hot and muggy after the storm, if not more so. One thing I do love about the weather is that you can watch it coming- the skies out here are so vast and you can see so far that you can literally watch a storm moving towards you. Sometimes it is like they show in movies where you look up to see a storm off in the distance and within minutes it is overhead- which is amazing to watch happen. Other storms linger in the distance, slowly making their way toward you and give you enough time to finish your yard work, clean up & get inside. The clouds are beautiful even when they are swirling in different directions over head- which is a good sign that you have perfect conditions for a tornado & the lightening storms, while fierce, are a beautiful display. The worst thing about the weather our here is the wind. Some nights it sounds as though it is going to take the roof off or blow the windows in on top of us- LITERALLY. Those are the nights we usually spend time in the 'safe room' or all of the kids end up in our bedroom. The wind is the worst part for sure. The kids love taking pictures of the clouds so we thought we would post a few of our favorites from the storms this month- enjoy!

Babies Birthday BBQ!

We were blessed this past weekend with a family birthday celebration for the babies. Ammon turned 2 and Kymball turned 1. We had Grandparents, Great Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and friends that feel like family come celebrate with us.
There were family members that could not be there and they were missed but we understand the miles and calls of life. Just know that we were thinking of you, we were missing you and we love you!
We enjoyed lots of good food, good conversation and great company. While some chatted inside, others lounged and jumped on the trampoline and others splashed and played in the swimming pool.
The swimming pool is pretty much where everyone ended up and we are so grateful that we made the purchase. We had such a good time that we figure the pool has already paid for itself.
Thank you everyone for coming to celebrate with us, for loving the babies and for giving up time on your weekend to show your support and share your company. We Love Ya!!!

Goodbye Good Girl!

I debated whether or not to post about the loss of our family pet and decided that I would. This blog is about our life and the things going on in it. When my children look back and read it I want them to remember and I want them to be reminded.
Last night our family dog Cassie went home. She hasn't been herself lately and we could tell that she wasn't feeling well. Cassie came to us as a puppy, we have had her as a part of our family for almost 13 years. She joined our family in Utah and has been part of our family through new babies, moves, marriages, divorces, good day and bad days. She was a bouncy, floppy puppy and we loved watching her run. She was a good dog and produced 2 litters of darling puppies.
She has always watched over us and been a good protector. A few summers ago right after the kids and I moved to Missouri we were out working in the garden and a dog came charging at me ready and fully intent on attacking. I yelled at the kids to get in the chicken area and close the gate while I was looking for something to grab to defend myself with. Cassie, who was nowhere to be found moments before, came charging out of nowhere and put herself between me and the oncoming assault. She was fierce in defending me and would not let me come to her defense as she took on the attack from the other dog. Cassie kept herself between the other dog and us while fighting and while pushing it away from our property giving me the room and the time to run the children into the house. By the time that I got teh children inside, grabbed and loaded the gun Cassie had herded and fought the dog off of our property. We were safe. She came home bleeding and a little torn up but you could tell she was more concerned about checking on us. She was covered in hugs and thank you's. You could tell that she knew she did her job and that she was proud of the job that she did. She was a GOOD GIRL! I will never forget knowing that danger was charging me & my children in the face & my GOOD GIRL charging in to save the day.
She made us laugh a lot. She hated Toads and Frogs! when we first moved to Missouri she would bark and bark and bark at them like they were aliens trying to invade our home planet. We could not get her to shut up! That summer it was so hot that I bought a children's wading pool to play in for the days that we could not make it into town to go swimming. the first day I filled up the pool I went out to check on it to see if it was all of the way full and it was torn to pieces! Cassie was attacking our pool! I could not figure out what had gotten into her. I thought she had gone mad- had rabies maybe. Nope- there were cartoon pictures of cute froggies on the side of the pool and Cassie had to protect her family! We still laugh over that one quite often.
Cassie walked our property line every morning and every night. She patrolled our land at night and watched over the house when we were gone. she always knew where the kids were and kept us all in her line of sight. She is the first 'real' pet that my family has had and loved. I will always love her and be grateful for all of her help taking care of my family. She was a GOOD GIRL! GOOD GIRL CASSIE!

My Ammon is turning 2!!!

My Ammon is about to turn 2 years old! He is a light and a joy to our family. He is smart, funny, naughty and doesn't sit still for a moment. If there is something he wants he is going to find a way to get it or get you to give in and get it for him. He is a flirt and a charmer and has the ladies wrapped around his little finger everywhere we go.





He loves music and being outside. He would eat, sleep and live outside in ALL weather if I let him. He likes animals and the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse cartoon.





He likes to talk and play ball and is not afraid to chew you out if he thinks you are being mean. He has a killer smile and gives some of the best kisses around. He already plays jokes and thinks it is funny to scare his Mommy. His favorite thing to eat is M&M candies, and even though Poppa is in Russia, Ammon knows how to get on SKYPE and get Poppa to tell Mommy to get him some.





He is my most favorite Ammon ever and the most darling blonde haired, blue eyed boy I have ever had. He makes me laugh and he makes me laugh harder.


I love you my Ammon and wish you a very Happy 2nd Birthday!!!!!